Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Just landed via Snapchat:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Trending via Messenger:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Spotted on Facebook:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Spotted on YouTube:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to fast-forward to Christmas and call it quits! 🎄🎅 Bye, 2023, don't let the calendar hit you on the way out! 🎉👋

call, Christmas, enough, exhaustion, farewell, holiday, humor, merry, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

0

2 months ago

attitude, day, humor, i, ignore, ignore someone, imagine, life, lifetime, resilience, rest, ruin, sarcasm, someone, trying
I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

0

2 months ago

30, break, chore, chores, humor, i, laziness, management, minutes, procrastination, time, time management
This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

0

1 month ago

anything, argue, argument, community, debate, discussion, humor, literally, online, online community, people, site
Life begins when you can afford it.

0

2 months ago

adulting, afford, beginning, humor, life, money, perspective
It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, early, early start, humor, life, life advice, making, never, procrastination, start, too
Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

0

2 months ago

avocado, eat, food, funny question, humor, moth, question, sandwich, sweater, tried

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

77 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

10 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

34 shares on Twitch this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

72 shares on Threads this month:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Going viral on Reddit:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Just shared via Threads:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Breaking via Telegram:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Live now on Discord:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Life begins when you can afford it.

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨