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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Just landed via X:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Trending via Snapchat:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Making waves on X:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about living at home, suggesting it's free but costly emotionally.

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Commentary:
😂 Ah, the price of free rent—watching the same TV shows as your parents just to keep the peace! 📺😅

adulting, family, family life, free, free housing, house, housing, humor, independence, life, living, living with parents, parents, pay, sarcasm, soul

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58 shares on X this month:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Shared recently on Threads:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Trending via Snapchat:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Shared recently on Discord:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

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Activity Log ✨

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Salary week, but salary weak.

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Salary week, but salary weak.

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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