Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Freshly posted on Discord:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Making waves on Messenger:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Starting a silent staring contest club and we already suspect each other 😂🔍🤫

behavior, cult, humor, introvert, making, only, side eye, silence, sit, social, social behavior, suspicion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

0

2 months ago

admire, driver, frustration, humor, irony, patience, perspective, road, something, traffic
Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

0

2 months ago

clothing, different, frustration, grief, humor, kind, laundry, losing, stain, tee, white, white tee
The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

0

2 months ago

exercise, financial, financial struggle, fitness, humor, joke, money, month, running, struggle
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

0

2 months ago

alter, change, consistency, contradiction, different, humor, i, irony, nothing, welcome
If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

0

2 months ago

bathrooms, ever, funny observation, humor, irony, observation, perspective, pools, remember, self-worth, useless
“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

0

2 months ago

body, day, eat, humor, lay, lay down, laziness, listen, okay, relaxation, self-care, snack, snacks, wants, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

41 shares on YouTube this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

88 shares on X this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would like even faster food.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Trending via Facebook:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Making waves on Reddit:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Spotted on Pinterest:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Live now on X:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Dear Santa, Money!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨