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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Making waves on Instagram:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Just landed via WeChat:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream, sounds like a real nightmare! 😂😎

freedom, having, humor, i, kid, kids, lifestyle, man, parenting, sarcasm, sucks, time, want, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, allergy, days, death, diagnosis, died, feeling, googled, health, humor, i, internet, joke, symptom, symptoms, well
The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, caffeine, coffee, humor, late, me, productivity, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, workday
Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

0

5 months ago

book, book club, club, dislike, frustration, group, humor, just, need, opinion, people, read, reading, same, vent
Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

0

2 months ago

ages, back, cooking, cupboard, Europe, food, history, humor, middle, Middle Ages, spices, still, storage
I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

0

2 months ago

breath, humor, i, intimacy, locked, morning, morning breath, point, romantic, tongue-kissing, where
I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

hate, humor, i, irony, me, question, self-reflection, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Live now on WhatsApp:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Seen just now on Threads:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨