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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Jan 11, 2026

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Going viral on Threads:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Going viral on Pinterest:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Just landed via X:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Spotted on Twitch:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

2 months ago

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive quest for manager enlightenment! 🧘‍♂️🕊️ Perhaps after a week of serene silence, they will return to the chaos feeling even more ‘managerial’ than before. 🌟 Who knew silence could be the key to mastering the art of management? 🤫💼 #ZenManager"

even, humor, irony, leadership, manager, meditation, order, productivity, silence, want, week, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

2 months ago

away, chores, experience, feel, grocery, humor, i, kids, never, parenting, put, recovery, take, today, traumatic, traumatic experience
Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

2 months ago

artist, concert, concert tickets, discount, entertainment, humor, music, should, special, super, tickets
“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

2 months ago

actions, consequences, epidemic, humor, issues, just, karma, loneliness, male, male loneliness, social, social issues
“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

2 months ago

30, activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, least, minutes, motivation, much, okay, Olympics, routine, sarcasm, should, trying
On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

2 months ago

always, better, communication, grammar, humor, irony, media, social, social media, someone, thoughts, tweeting, Twitter
Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

5 months ago

city, damage, humor, infrastructure, infrastructure damage, movie, movie night, night, stress, superhero, superhero movie, trying, watch, watching, watching movie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

75 shares on Slack this month:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

97 shares on Discord this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

70 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

28 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Going viral on Discord:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Live now on Discord:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Just shared via X:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Making waves on YouTube:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

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