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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Trending via WeChat:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Making waves on Discord:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Just shared via Slack:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Going bananas on Messenger:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Just shared via WeChat:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Cartoons: violence to classical beats, the original reality show! 🎻💥😄

cartoon, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, contrast, humor, kid, kids, maybe, music, nostalgia, reason, saw, violence

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

0

2 months ago

child, expectations, family, humor, nice, outing, parenting, perfectly, ruin, sarcasm, trip
Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

0

1 month ago

humor, insignificant, insignificant other, oh, relationship, sarcasm
If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

0

2 months ago

bathrooms, ever, funny observation, humor, irony, observation, perspective, pools, remember, self-worth, useless
“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

0

2 months ago

attitude, close, crazy, entitlement, even, health, humor, legal, legally, mental, mental health, personality
Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

0

2 months ago

door, humor, just, lock, safety, somebody, thinking
Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

0

4 months ago

bed, bedtime, best, combo, comfort, ever, getting, literally, relaxation, routine, self-care, shower

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

21 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

97 shares on Slack this month:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Trending via Slack:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Seen just now on WeChat:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Just landed via WeChat:

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Making waves on Slack:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Making waves on TikTok:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Just shared via Reddit:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Making waves on TikTok:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨