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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,973

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Trending via Reddit:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Shared recently on X:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Going bananas on Twitch:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Trending via Facebook:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Just shared via Threads:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Live now on Messenger:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Going bananas on Threads:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Me: *finds the perfect item of clothing* Fashion industry: "That was so last season, darling! 🤷‍♀️💁‍♂️ #FashionForward"

again, buy, clothing, fashion, favorite, humor, i, industry, irony, item, me, repetition, same, shopping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

0

2 months ago

better, death, different, even, everyone, God, gods, hubris, humor, irony, killed, maybe, superiority
Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

0

2 months ago

application, audition, blind, blind date, date, dating, employment, enthusiasm, even, expectations, humor, job, jobs, pressure
Tuesday is no better than Monday.

0

2 months ago

better, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, Tuesday, weekday, workweek
Relationship status: he escaped.

0

2 months ago

break up, dating, escape, humor, love, relationship, single, status
Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

0

2 months ago

enforcement, food, guideline, humor, just, mechanism, package, remember, sharing, sharing size, size, snack
Shorts should be half the price of pants.

0

2 months ago

clothing, comparison, economics, fashion, humor, pants, price, shorts, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

39 shares on Discord this month:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

10 shares on Slack this month:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨