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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has copied:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has copied:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has shared:

This email could’ve been sex.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has shared:

I’m not β€œlate”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of β€œtime”.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m broke β€” I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Just landed via Facebook:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Trending via Pinterest:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to β€˜like’ them.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Neurodivergents will be like, β€˜I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Trending via Telegram:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Just shared via Reddit:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Making waves on Facebook:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

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Commentary:
Me: *finds the perfect item of clothing* Fashion industry: "That was so last season, darling! πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ’β€β™‚οΈ #FashionForward"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

56 shares on Threads this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts β€œOH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has downloaded:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on TikTok:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Going bananas on Instagram:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

Making waves on Twitch:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Making waves on TikTok:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Just shared via X:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

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