Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,085

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Just landed via Twitch:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Breaking via TikTok:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Making waves on YouTube:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Trending via Reddit:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Spotted on WeChat:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess we're lucky if we get a text back without needing a whole search party! 🏰🕵️‍♂️📱😂"

build, communication, dating, effort, expectations, humor, love, men, modern, modern love, much, relationship, replying, romance, think, time, too, used, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

0

2 months ago

God, humor, irony, know, money, people, perspective, want, wealth
Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, mad, media, online, online reactions, people, pic, pizza, post, reactions, social, social media, Twitter
I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, driving, hate, humor, i, interaction, moment, need, outside, parallel, parallel park, park, parking, people, privacy, social, social interaction, trying
It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

0

2 months ago

beginning, Christmas, cost, expense, festive, holiday, humor, lot, season
Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

0

3 months ago

ability, car, car ride, hours, never, patience, quiet, ride, silence, speak, stare, staring, underestimate, window
I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

0

2 months ago

animal, bro, cat, cats, conversation, humor, i, love, meow, pet, playful, right, talkative

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Slack this month:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

54 shares on X this month:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

84 shares on TikTok this month:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I disagree with my politics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Spotted on Messenger:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Live now on WeChat:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Trending via Reddit:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Shared recently on YouTube:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨