Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Going viral on Messenger:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Trending via Threads:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Just landed via WeChat:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Making waves on TikTok:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Shared recently on X:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Just shared via Discord:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess we're lucky if we get a text back without needing a whole search party! 🏰🕵️‍♂️📱😂"

build, communication, dating, effort, expectations, humor, love, men, modern, modern love, much, relationship, replying, romance, think, time, too, used, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, clothes, comeback, fashion, humor, sorry, style, trend, waiting
‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, just, light, middle, night, song, turning, turning on light
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

0

2 months ago

book, careful, caution, death, die, health, health book, humor, irony, life, misprint, reading
And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, date, first date, going, humor, joke, last, magic, next, relationship, situation, trick
We need a slur for people that use AI.

0

2 weeks ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user
You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

0

2 months ago

buffering, HD, humor, joke, just, lazy, procrastination, tech

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

17 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Live now on Facebook:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Trending via Instagram:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Making waves on Telegram:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Spotted on Instagram:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Making waves on YouTube:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

We need a slur for people that use AI.

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨