Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

430 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,699

Funny Quotes Topics

17,717

Funny Quotes Images

15,699

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Going bananas on Slack:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Just landed via X:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Just shared via Threads:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Just landed via Slack:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Just landed via WeChat:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Just shared via Discord:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

15 hours ago

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Commentary:
Mastering the art of working hard or hardly working! 🚪🏃‍♂️💸

advice, anyone, getting, humor, job, last, laziness, little, management, office, pay, productivity, time, time management, while, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

2 months ago

Amazon, finding, humor, i, irony, online, preferences, shopping, stop, technology, things, wish
“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

2 months ago

after, day, food, goodbye, great, humor, i, kid, kids, lunch, orange, parenting, school, tell
Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

2 months ago

everything, except, holiday, humor, power, satire, sex, Thanksgiving
Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

5 months ago

autumn, beanie, cozy, excited, excitement, fall, fashion, feel, i, oh, oversized, sweater, Ugg, wear
I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

2 months ago

activity, amazing, big, eating, fast, fast food, fat, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, i, indulgence, love, overweight, self-deprecating
I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

4 months ago

boredom, entertainment, feeling, feeling lost, finish, free, free time, frustration, hate, i, know, life, lost, show, time, watching

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

31 shares on Slack this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

18 shares on Threads this month:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

84 shares on Discord this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Live now on Instagram:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Spotted on X:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Trending via Telegram:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Breaking via Discord:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨