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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Going viral on Threads:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Seen just now on X:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Making waves on Reddit:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Trending via WeChat:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Spotted on Instagram:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.
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Commentary:
"That's one way to bug the system 🤖📝😂 Tears of circuits incoming!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,417

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Just landed via X:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Spotted on Instagram:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Trending via Messenger:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Live now on Facebook:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

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