Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Just landed via Instagram:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Making waves on Pinterest:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Freshly posted on Discord:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your spa day turns into a sports injury treatment! 🏃‍♂️💆‍♀️🤣

body, body lotion, comedy, favorite, health, humor, joke, lotion, medicine, medicine joke, pain, pain relief, relief, Voltaren

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

0

2 months ago

cigarette, history, humor, opinion, smell, smells, worst
Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

0

2 months ago

confession, crime, duty, escape, funny situation, got, humor, jury, jury duty, situation, yesterday
I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

0

2 months ago

acceptance, again, attitude, disappointed, disappointment, even, frustration, humor, i, just, oh, okay, perseverance, resilience
Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

0

2 months ago

30, adult, age, caffeine, coffee, free, humor, joke, just, over, over 30, should
A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

0

2 months ago

babysitter, challenge, dating, Friday, Friday night, good, good man, hard, man, night, night out
Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

0

6 months ago

communication, culture, form, humor, information, internet, internet culture, meme, memes, most

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

26 shares on Slack this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Making waves on Threads:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Shared recently on X:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Just landed via WeChat:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Going viral on Reddit:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Spotted on Discord:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨