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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Shared recently on Threads:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Just landed via Snapchat:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Shared recently on Threads:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Making waves on WeChat:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the kids finally hit self-amusement mode, it's like finding Bigfoot—rare, mythical, and you only half believe it happened 😂🦶✨

bored, boredom, enough, entertain, entertainment, family, family life, favorite, getting, humor, kid, kid boredom, kids, life, parenting, patience, point, self, self entertainment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

0

2 months ago

bigger, expectation, humor, i, joke, lot, microbiologist, science, size, today
Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

0

3 weeks ago

ability, complication, difficult, difficulty, effort, humor, needs, never, procrastination, self-deprecating, something, underestimate
People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

0

2 months ago

buddy, children, children names, dog, dog names, family, humor, kids, name, names, naming, people, pet, pet naming, rocket, steve
Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

0

2 months ago

comparison, concrete, dandelion, head, humor, i, life, morning, nature, resilience, struggle, sweater
When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

0

2 months ago

Christmas, decorate, dust, going, holiday, home, house, humor, least, month, procrastination, saying, whole
The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

0

2 months ago

dream, dreams, female, find out, humor, phone, phones, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on X this month:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life begins when you can afford it.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

91 shares on X this month:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

76 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Breaking via WeChat:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Live now on WhatsApp:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Spotted on Threads:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Just shared via Messenger:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨