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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Breaking via YouTube:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Making waves on WeChat:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Going viral on Slack:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.
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Commentary:
Looks like I'm on a mission to make my brain and body equally well-rounded 🤣🤯🍩

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Spotted on X:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Seen just now on Discord:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Spotted on TikTok:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Live now on Threads:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Shared recently on YouTube:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

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