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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You wish you had this many chins.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,967

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Seen just now on Slack:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Spotted on WeChat:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Live now on Pinterest:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Live now on Slack:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

My middle finger salutes you.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's one way to give someone a standing ovation with a twist! 😆🖕🎉

attitude, finger, gesture, humor, insult, middle, middle finger, rude, rude gesture, salute, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

4 months ago
business, business decision, cons, decision, decision making, going, human, human interaction, humor, i, interaction, introversion, love, making, people, pros, pros and cons, socializing, used, weigh
What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

5 months ago
always, biology, curiosity, equivalent, humor, i, morning, morning wood, question, why, women, wood
Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

1 month ago
companionship, dull, flirt, fun, humor, life, relationship, someone
An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

1 month ago
adult, humor, ibuprofen, life, life skills, medicine, organization, pain, pain relief, person, place, relief, skills
Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

1 month ago
activity, argue, argument, creativity, drama, fun, fun activity, just, pictures, Pinterest, pretty, relaxation, therapy
Girls Just Want To Have Naan

1 month ago
cravings, food, fun, girls, humor, just, naan, play, play on words, pun, want, words

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Just shared via Messenger:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Just landed via X:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Just shared via YouTube:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My middle finger salutes you.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

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My middle finger salutes you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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