Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Spotted on YouTube:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Live now on Twitch:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Just shared via Discord:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Trending via Messenger:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Making waves on YouTube:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing people are bringing these days is a Wi-Fi password request! 📶🎉🤣

behavior, boomer, bring, complaint, courtesy, etiquette, item, knows, most, nobody, party, social, social behavior

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

0

4 months ago

babe, communication, concern, humor, message, messages, okay, partner, relationship, telepathic, telepathic message, texting
Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

0

2 months ago

able, another, behavior, being, celebrity, gossip, jobless, jobless behavior, media, notice, observation, seriously, social, social media, unfollow
Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

0

2 months ago

amazing, car, floor, hair, humor, men, people, product, same, teeth, washing
At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

0

2 months ago

around, follow, forgot, funny situation, grocery, grocery store, guess, guy, humor, i, just, list, shopping, situation, store, wife
Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

0

2 months ago

activity, beautiful, dating, drinks, Friday, fun, fun activity, humor, i, invitation, invite, me, relaxation, weekend, woman
You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

0

2 days ago

accomplishment, back, cleaned, cleaning, daily, daily life, ever, good, house, humor, just, life, observation, room, satisfaction, walk, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Threads this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Just landed via Discord:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Shared recently on Threads:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Breaking via Instagram:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Breaking via Discord:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Making waves on Instagram:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Just landed via Discord:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨