Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,775

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Just landed via X:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Making waves on Telegram:

Asking the cashier how I’m doing today.

Trending via Reddit:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Live now on X:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Just shared via Reddit:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Going viral on Facebook:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about modern manners and courtesy at parties, playful and witty in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing people are bringing these days is a Wi-Fi password request! 📶🎉🤣

behavior, boomer, bring, complaint, courtesy, etiquette, item, knows, most, nobody, party, social, social behavior

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

3 weeks ago

day, day off, enjoyment, free, free time, fun, i, leisure, love, much, next, no work, oh, relaxation, Sunday, time, weekend, work
I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

4 weeks ago

expectations, food, humor, i, individuality, me, never, person, self-acceptance, serving, serving size, size, suggestion, wants
Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

4 weeks ago

alone, drinking, home, humor, i, introvert, myself, night, socializing, sorry, tonight
Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

1 month ago

1940s, 1950s, 1970s, 1990s, 40s, 50s, 70s, 90s, animated, animated sery, Batman, humor, love, nostalgia, once, period, place, seems, series, sery, take, time, time period
Pomegranates are worth the mess.

3 weeks ago

activity, fruit, fun, fun activity, humor, mess, pomegranate, worth
Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

4 weeks ago

confidence, dominance, eating, front, humor, indoor, indoor plant, joke, nature, plant, plants, playful, quirky, salad

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

13 shares on Threads this month:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

74 shares on Discord this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

83 shares on Twitch this month:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Going viral on Discord:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Just shared via Instagram:

The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨