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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Going viral on Threads:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Just landed via Twitch:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Shared recently on YouTube:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Raising them with the proper silliness legacy 😂👶⚔️

accomplishment, comedy, culture, done, family, fan, here, humor, monty, Monty Python, parenting, pop, pop culture, python, son, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, bedroom, clothes, dryer, humor, i, laundry, means, trail
I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

0

2 months ago

activity, around, backyard, every, flashlight, funny activity, here, high, hour, humor, i, know, let, neighbors, power, scan, security, tolerance, weirdness
Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

0

2 months ago

before, being, communication, email, emails, exclamation, exclamation point, expectation, gender, humor, just, point, send, woman, writing
Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, disgusting, eating, filling, food, healthy, healthy eating, high, high protein, only, plain, powder, protein, protein powder, taste, yogurt
Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, comparison, drink, feeling, foot, humor, sensation, sparkling, sparkling water, taste, water
Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

0

2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, just, listen, listening, people, talking, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

23 shares on Threads this month:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Trending via Reddit:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Trending via TikTok:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Just shared via Threads:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Going viral on Facebook:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Spotted on Instagram:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨