Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Making waves on Telegram:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Live now on Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Spotted on Telegram:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Trending via Telegram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Seen just now on X:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Spotted on YouTube:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Revenge? I prefer to call it 'strategic planning for future laughter.' 😂🗡️🎭"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Shared recently on WeChat:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Spotted on Discord:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Trending via TikTok:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴