My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.