Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Going viral on Facebook:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Spotted on Threads:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Spotted on Threads:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Making waves on Slack:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Making waves on Slack:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Making waves on Threads:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty, humorous quote about using naps as a humorous escape from life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your spirit animal is a hibernating bear 😂😴🐻

alive, avoid, being, different, existentialism, hit, humor, life, nap, naps, procrastination, sarcasm, sleep, using

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

10 shares on Instagram this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Trending via Facebook:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Live now on Twitch:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Spotted on Instagram:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Seen just now on Slack:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Live now on Twitch:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Just shared via X:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Making waves on YouTube:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Naps hit different when you’re using them to avoid being alive.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨