Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Making waves on Telegram:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Trending via Threads:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Seen just now on X:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Breaking via Twitch:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Trending via Telegram:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Just landed via YouTube:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Time to buy that winning ticket, because these artifacts and abs aren't going to admire themselves! 🤑🏛️💪

aspiration, fitness, focus, going, hobby, humor, i, lottery, money, museum, need, win, working, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

0

3 weeks ago

concern, engagement, grave, humor, irony, likes, media, post, produce, social, social media, zero
“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, department, drama, grey’s, Grey’s Anatomy, hospital, hr, HR department, humor, medical, medical drama, parody, perspective, television, workplace
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

0

2 months ago

dead, funny observation, humor, i, just, mistake, observation, rug, spider, thought, yarn
Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

0

2 months ago

3d, 3D printer, creativity, humor, making, printer, return, technology
You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

0

2 months ago

bottle, condiment, empty, food, food humor, full, home, house, humor, in-between, ketchup
Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

0

2 months ago

adventure, friendship, good, humor, irony, journey, me, places, stick, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

76 shares on Slack this month:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Making waves on Reddit:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Seen just now on Discord:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Half princess, half menace.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Just landed via Facebook:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨