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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Making waves on Snapchat:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Spotted on Instagram:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Just shared via Threads:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Spotted on Threads:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Just landed via Threads:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Trending via YouTube:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Trending via Facebook:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

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Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”
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Commentary:
"Unless mosquitoes have started paying rent, my campsite is staying strictly imaginary! 🏕️🤷‍♂️😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Telegram this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

96 shares on Discord this month:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Live now on Threads:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Just landed via Threads:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Just shared via Facebook:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

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