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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,937

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Making waves on TikTok:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Just landed via Reddit:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Making waves on Twitch:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

4 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to become an "emploid" so I can get upgrades in coffee consumption ☕🔧

employment, humor, job, jobs, new, people, slang, term, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

0

2 months ago

bottle, hand, hate, i, lotion, lotion bottle, mucus, mucus plug, palm, plug, pump, skincare
On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

0

4 months ago

clutter, episode, hoarder, Hoarders, humor, mental, mental clutter, next, show, subconscious, TV, TV Show, visit
Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

0

2 months ago

demon, demons, empty, expression, hell, here, humor, sarcasm
Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

0

2 months ago

acting, cause, exist, extraterrestrial, girl, here, humor, humorous, humorous observation, husband, jealousy, observation, relationship, social, social humor, wife
Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

0

2 months ago

boys, city, culture, even, fantasy, fantasy humor, Gandalf, geek, geek humor, girls, green, humor, lord, Lord of the Rings, me, Moria, nope, parody, pop, pop culture, rings, said, satire, take, too, where
Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

0

2 months ago

advice, always, broke, dark, dark humor, financial, financial advice, humor, irony, money, motive, murder, stay, stay broke

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

18 shares on Threads this month:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Seen just now on Discord:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Just shared via WeChat:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Seen just now on X:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Making waves on X:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Trending via Discord:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Going viral on Discord:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨