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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,997

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Just shared via Telegram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like the worst country line-up! 🌾🕺 #CountingMyBlessings

achy, Achy Breaky Heart, bad, bad day, breaky, country, country music, dance, day, heart, humor, just, line, line dance, matter, music, remember, seems, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

1 month ago
body, clothing, fashion, humor, leggings, question, stomach, why, wordplay
I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

1 month ago
bore, confidence, humor, i, personality, problems, sarcasm, self-deprecating, wit
The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

3 months ago
aging, being, comfort, doing, doing nothing, home, humor, i, laziness, love, much, nothing, older, realize, relaxation, self-awareness
I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

1 month ago
calendar, certain, confusion, English, February, humor, language, person, pronunciation, put, r, spell, spelling, Wednesday, wordplay
We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

22 hours ago
cake, exaggeration, food, food shortage, house, humor, i, middle, never, perish, shortage, situation, snowstorm, survival, unexpected, unexpected situation, winter
You’re like if “nope” was a person.

1 month ago
humor, nope, person, personality, sarcasm

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Shared recently on TikTok:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Just landed via Snapchat:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Breaking via Slack:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

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No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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