Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs alcohol to regret life choices when you've got natural talent? It's like a superpower, just with more facepalms and less capes."

alcohol, bad, bad decision, brag, decision, decision making, humor, making, need, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

0

3 months ago

again, belief, disappointment, humor, i, irony, mistake, regret, told, trust
My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

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5 months ago

early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work
Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, eye, eye widening, eyes, first meeting, humor, meeting, met, prophecy, sorry, whispering, widening
I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

0

2 months ago

bad, honesty, humor, i, lot, offer, self-deprecation, still
I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, borrowed, borrowed things, garage, garage sale, having, hope, humor, people, possessions, sale, selling, situation, things, thrift
Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

0

2 months ago

accent, British, British accent, humor, irony, self-deprecation, smart, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

42 shares on X this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

61 shares on Slack this month:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

10 shares on TikTok this month:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

47 shares on Discord this month:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Spotted on Twitch:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Just shared via Instagram:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Shared recently on WeChat:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨