Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Making waves on Twitch:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Live now on WhatsApp:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Live now on Instagram:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Making waves on Twitch:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Going viral on X:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Twins who missed the memo on matching outfits 😂👯‍♂️ Should've scheduled that arrival time better! ⏰"

alike, appearance, boredom, comparison, dropped, family, going, humor, joke, just, later, me, nothing, participation, sibling, teasing, twins

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

0

2 months ago

adventure, anthony, Anthony Bourdain, bourdain, calls, cooking, eat, food, foodie, humor, i, me, parts, playful, relationship, reservations, restaurant, restaurant humor, unknown
I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

0

6 months ago

alanis, Alanis concert, apology, caught, cheating, concert, humor, husband, i, infidelity, know, lyric, music, music concert, relationship, song, song lyric, thought
I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

0

2 months ago

guys, humor, i, interaction, introduce, introduction, moron, neighbor, sarcasm, should, social, social interaction
Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, cleaning, conversation, household, humor, robot, Roomba, spider, technology, tell
When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

0

2 months ago

annoyance, funny insult, humor, humor quote, insult, mosquito, prank, sarcasm, say, slap, someone, want
You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

0

4 months ago

bad, bad day, cheeseburger, day, even, food, frustration, help, humor, know

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

38 shares on Facebook this month:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

94 shares on Slack this month:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t study, get slutty!

91 shares on X this month:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Just landed via Twitch:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Shared recently on X:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Just landed via YouTube:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Breaking via Instagram:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Breaking via Facebook:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨