Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Just landed via TikTok:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Live now on YouTube:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Just shared via Telegram:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone reminds you you're not a model… just a human trying to survive Monday mornings! 📸🙈

accidental, accidental photo, accidentally, camera, embarrassment, faster, humor, me, nothing, phone, phone camera, photo, selfie, surprise, technology, turning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, anything, conversation, conversations, humor, joke, listen, listening, making, male, male version, privacy, technology, version, want
Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

0

2 months ago

boss, employee, employees, hierarchy, humor, joke, last, last name, management, name, office, office joke, should, take, workplace, workplace humor
Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, cold, drink, help, hope, humor, i, lemon, lemons, me, remedy, tequila, winter
If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

0

2 months ago

disrespect, due, ever, humor, i, irony, none, please, respect, sarcasm, say, understand, witty
That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

0

2 months ago

don’t, don’t speak, doubt, head, humor, i, mind, music, song, speak, stuck
Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

0

2 months ago

alive, being, cost, even, expensive, experience, good, good time, having, humor, irony, life, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Slack this month:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

64 shares on Threads this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Live now on Slack:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Making waves on TikTok:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Making waves on Discord:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Going viral on Twitch:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Seen just now on X:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨