Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,243

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Making waves on Facebook:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Going viral on Telegram:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Breaking via Instagram:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone reminds you you're not a model… just a human trying to survive Monday mornings! 📸🙈

accidental, accidental photo, accidentally, camera, embarrassment, faster, humor, me, nothing, phone, phone camera, photo, selfie, surprise, technology, turning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

0

2 months ago

begin, day, end, every, forward, humor, i, look forward, looking, motivation, perspective, routine
I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

0

2 months ago

always, call, case, decide, friend, friends, humor, i, interlude, joke, leave, musician, need, phone, phone call, voicemail
Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

0

2 months ago

drink, fun, humor, joy, laughter, reason, someone, spit, surprise, today
I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

0

4 months ago

bank, humor, i, irony, joke, money, pen, pens, single, string, strings, tie, trust, us, why
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

0

2 months ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty standard, commercial, commercials, gorilla, hairless, hairless leg, humor, impress, leg, legs, razor, satire, shave, shaving, someone, standard, stop, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

14 shares on Discord this month:

The peace of not knowing.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

88 shares on X this month:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Seen just now on Discord:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Trending via Slack:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Spotted on TikTok:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Going viral on Twitch:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Trending via Pinterest:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Just landed via TikTok:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Making waves on Twitch:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Trending via Discord:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨