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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,303

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Spotted on Discord:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Going viral on Messenger:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Making waves on Reddit:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

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Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ready for summer! Just add sweat and you've got a complete transformation! 😅💦🍹"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on TikTok this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,494

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Going viral on Twitch:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Trending via Reddit:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Going viral on Reddit:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Trending via Instagram:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Shared recently on Discord:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

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