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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Making waves on Messenger:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Shared recently on Threads:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Trending via Pinterest:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Shared recently on X:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions – the eternal struggle between channeling our inner Victoria's Secret model or indulging in the sweet embrace of cake 🍰👙 Who needs abs when you can have abs-olutely delicious cake, am I right? 😂 #CakeOverCalories"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

79 shares on Discord this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

100 shares on Messenger this month:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

58 shares on YouTube this month:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Going viral on Discord:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Just shared via Threads:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

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