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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Live now on TikTok:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Just landed via Reddit:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Making waves on Instagram:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Live now on Slack:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions – the eternal struggle between channeling our inner Victoria's Secret model or indulging in the sweet embrace of cake 🍰👙 Who needs abs when you can have abs-olutely delicious cake, am I right? 😂 #CakeOverCalories"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

29 shares on Threads this month:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Going viral on Slack:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Trending via Instagram:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Going viral on WeChat:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Just landed via TikTok:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Spotted on Instagram:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Going viral on Facebook:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

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