Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Making waves on X:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Just shared via Snapchat:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Making waves on Twitch:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Trending via Reddit:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, apparently it also throws in a side of emotional baggage. 🍋😅💔"

broke, heartbreak, humor, i, irony, life, life struggles, lord, money, relationship, struggles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

0

2 months ago

activity, app, apps, dating, depot, fun, fun activity, gentlemen, home, Home Depot, humor, relationship, social, working
Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

0

3 months ago

afterlife, death, die, Earth, going, humor, i, joke, life, next, reincarnation, sure, time
I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

0

2 months ago

dream, dreams, getting, hate, i, interaction, paid, people, time, time off, work
Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

0

3 days ago

awkward, Christmas, compassion, dinner, humor, i, invitation, invited, Jesus, norms, prostitute, social, social norms
The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, dating, devil, humor, life, love, me, reach, relationship, struggle, sure
Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

0

4 months ago

air, air fryer, brew, bro, Caesar, caesar salad, cold, cold brew, food, food trend, found, fryer, healthy, healthy food, high protein, i, Instagram, media, oats, overnight, overnight oats, recipe, salad, social, social media, trend, trendy, trendy food, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Spreading quickly via X:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Shared recently on Slack:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Making waves on Twitch:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Spotted on WeChat:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Just shared via Twitch:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨