Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,643

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Trending via TikTok:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Breaking via YouTube:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Making waves on X:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is it even a friendship if there's been zero wardrobe malfunctions? 😂👚🔍

anniversary, awkward, awkward question, boundary, breasts, friends, friendship, friendship anniversary, humor, personal, personal boundary, question, seen, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

0

2 months ago

anything, comedy, humor, invention, misunderstanding, overhear, plot, plot twist, relationship, rom-com, should, twist, where
Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

0

3 days ago

every, friend, friends, friendship, hang, hangout, healing, humor, know, little, me, support, time
I love men with a provider fetish.

0

2 months ago

fetish, humor, i, love, man, men, provider
The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

0

2 months ago

cashier, customer, customer service, day, good, good day, honesty, humor, insincerity, mean, retail, said, sarcasm, service
Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

0

6 months ago

account, bank, bank account, cash, character, close, finance, game, hedgehog, humor, keep, me, money, saving, sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog, video, video game character
Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

0

2 months ago

adult, adult friendship, commitment, friendship, girl, hangout, humor, jokes, keep, life, procrastination, rescheduling, social, social life, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

97 shares on Slack this month:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Social media may have been a mistake.

65 shares on X this month:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Live now on X:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Breaking via X:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Trending via Reddit:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Just shared via X:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Just landed via X:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Trending via Messenger:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Making waves on Threads:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

I love men with a provider fetish.

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨