Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Live now on Threads:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Going viral on Facebook:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Making waves on Instagram:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Breaking via Instagram:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your parents are experts in spotting fake friends but get bamboozled by Aunt Karen 🤦‍♂️😂 #FamilyDrama #PlotTwist" 🌟👀

fake, fake friend, family, friend, friends, give, humor, irony, lecture, own, parents, scam, sibling, siblings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

0

5 months ago

accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work
I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

0

2 months ago

after, anything, carbohydrate, diet, evening, food, humor, lifestyle, read, reading, self-discipline, trying
Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

0

2 months ago

activity, being, favorite, full, humor, introvert, loud, people, quiet, room, social, sport
Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, chips, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, obsession, open, potato, potato chips, snack, snack obsession, tear, tearing, tearing open, third, vegetables
Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

0

2 months ago

commentary, expression, humor, knowledge, lack, let, media, never, opinion, people, social, social media, strong, Twitter, welcome, where
Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

0

2 months ago

better, expectations, humor, i, laziness, motivation, optimism, procrastination, reality, self-improvement, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Instagram this month:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

46 shares on Messenger this month:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Trending via Telegram:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Making waves on Telegram:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Going viral on Twitch:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Going bananas on Twitch:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Just landed via Messenger:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨