Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Seen just now on Discord:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Spotted on YouTube:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Live now on Snapchat:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Making waves on Telegram:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Going viral on TikTok:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"When your parents are experts in spotting fake friends but get bamboozled by Aunt Karen 🤦‍♂️😂 #FamilyDrama #PlotTwist" 🌟👀

fake, fake friend, family, friend, friends, give, humor, irony, lecture, own, parents, scam, sibling, siblings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

0

2 months ago

awesome, coffee, day, going, humor, i, know, listen, morning, morning routine, motivation, routine, self-awareness, today
Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

0

2 months ago

admit, doze, doze off, humor, men, sleep, stereotype, wakefulness, why, wrong
My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

0

2 months ago

before, behavior, child, child behavior, dislike, eater, even, food, food dislike, humor, kid, kids, knowing, parenting, picky, picky eater, superpower
It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

0

2 months ago

clean, clean house, effort, fitness, having, house, housekeeping, humor, lifestyle, mid-physique, much, work
There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

0

2 months ago

behavior, dog, dogs, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, guide, guide dog, humor, life, pet, pet behavior, pets, poop, save
Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

0

2 months ago

ask, before, call, communication, family, holiday, humor, little, paper, password, preparation, Thanksgiving, time, wifi

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

47 shares on Threads this month:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

40 shares on Slack this month:

Strict parents raise good liars.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Shared recently on Facebook:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Spotted on WeChat:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Shared recently on Instagram:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t fight my demons anymore. We collaborate.

Breaking via Threads:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨