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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Making waves on Reddit:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Going viral on TikTok:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Going viral on Twitch:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Going viral on Messenger:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Just landed via YouTube:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Seen just now on Slack:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Just shared via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Making waves on Facebook:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Why blame peer pressure when I can self-sabotage like a pro? 💪😆"

bad, bad decision, choice, confidence, decision, decisions, humor, independence, me, nothing, peer, peer pressure, pressure, rebellious, self-reliance, solo, solo choice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

2 months ago

confidence, eating, enjoying, enjoying life, feels, having, hope, humor, i, independence, irony, life, me, myself, nobody, positivity, self-love, solitude, sorry, time
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

1 month ago

clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle
Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

3 weeks ago

advice, breakup, date, dating, dating advice, ex, humor, know, love, man, men, over, relationship, single
The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

3 months ago

autobiography, going, growth, humor, ID, irony, learn, learning, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, think, title, titles
If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

2 weeks ago

career, career change, change, coding, gathering, humor, hunting, joke, tech, tech joke
She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

2 months ago

ancient, curse, desire, flowers, gift, humor, joke, relationship, want, wants, witchcraft

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Spotted on TikTok:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Just shared via Discord:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Live now on Reddit:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Trending via Messenger:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Seen just now on Threads:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨