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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Just shared via X:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Shared recently on Slack:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Spotted on Telegram:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Trending via WeChat:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Just shared via WeChat:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

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People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.
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Commentary:
When you want to heat things up but not at the cost of calling the neighbors! 🏠😲🔥

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

51 shares on X this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

43 shares on Telegram this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

My dream car is a taco truck.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Just shared via YouTube:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Spotted on TikTok:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Breaking via Twitch:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Just landed via Reddit:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

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