Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Going viral on Facebook:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Spotted on Twitch:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Making waves on Facebook:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the food's that good, it deserves a round of applause too! 🍽️👏🎉

anger, food, frustration, i, keep, livid, making, me, moan, moaning, noise, over, people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

0

2 months ago

age, age joke, aging, earlier, early, humor, i, irony, joke, late, older, time
The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

0

4 weeks ago

break, Christmas, Christmas movie, existence, expectation, holiday, holiday break, holiday season, humor, interruption, interruptions, month, most, movie, people, Santa, season, time, time off, unrealistic, unrealistic expectation, work, work interruption
Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

0

2 months ago

bathroom, bathroom break, break, company, company time, humor, office, office supply, procrastination, steal, supply, take, theft, time, why, work, work humor, workplace, workplace humor
I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

0

2 months ago

attraction, comedy, flirting, humor, just, me, misunderstanding, relationship, think
They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

0

2 months ago

coming, coming over, home, humor, invitation, joke, over, place, try
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, day, eggs, enemy, funny activity, gathering, houses, much, night, nostalgia, paper, throwing, toilet, toilet paper

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Facebook this month:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

46 shares on X this month:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

65 shares on Twitch this month:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

93 shares on Slack this month:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Just landed via Facebook:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Going viral on Reddit:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨