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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Trending via Snapchat:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Making waves on Messenger:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Just shared via Facebook:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Breaking via YouTube:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Making waves on Messenger:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

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People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.
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Commentary:
Savvy with the shady receipts! I’m basically a librarian of grudges. 📚😎✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

47 shares on X this month:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

24 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,237

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Just landed via Slack:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Spotted on Threads:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Making waves on Threads:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Just shared via Telegram:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Trending via X:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Just shared via Discord:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

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