Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Seen just now on YouTube:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Live now on X:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Spotted on Telegram:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Seen just now on Slack:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Making waves on Telegram:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Just landed via Facebook:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote appreciating street-facing apartment windows and Christmas displays in a humorous way.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your neighbor's tree accidentally becomes the neighborhood's holiday beacon 🎄🌟😂

apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

1 day ago

fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing
Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

5 days ago

every, fun, humor, joke, marriage, me, relationship, tariff, threat, threatening, time, wife
Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

2 weeks ago

accomplish, accomplishment, center, holidays, humans, humor, irony, much, parking, shopping, shopping center, struggle
At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

2 days ago

anxiety, attitude, casual, casual attitude, coping, coping mechanism, every, funny response, health, humor, mechanism, mental, mental health, question, response, saying, self-help, therapy, worry
Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

3 days ago

digital, digital lifestyle, ever, humor, i, internet, lifestyle, nonstop, obsession, online, tech, wanted, young, youth
Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

2 weeks ago

being, criticism, hip, hip-hop, hop, humor, joke, literacy, music, rap, stopped, wordplay

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on X this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Making waves on Telegram:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Just landed via X:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Trending via WhatsApp:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Trending via Facebook:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Keep the laugh going 😂

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨