Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Spotted on Twitch:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Just shared via TikTok:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Just shared via Discord:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Freshly posted on X:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Breaking via Slack:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your neighbor's tree accidentally becomes the neighborhood's holiday beacon 🎄🌟😂

apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

2 months ago

asking, awkward, awkward moment, confidence, flex, humor, interaction, moment, remember, social, social interaction, strangers
I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

2 months ago

assistance, butler, chef, domestic, domestic help, help, humor, i, luxury, maid, need, professional, professional help, should, think
No email needs to tell me not to reply.

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, message, reply, tech, tell, work
The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

3 months ago

existence, humor, medium, raw, sex, sexuality, well-done
Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

2 months ago

AirPod, AirPods, am, dropped, everyday, everyday problem, everything, frustration, God, help, humor, i, item, lost, lost item, me, only, please, prayer, problem, technology, where
The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

2 months ago

age, eyesight, humor, i, looks, lose, losing, older, perspective, problem, self-deprecation, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

46 shares on Slack this month:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

76 shares on Threads this month:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

20 shares on X this month:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Going bananas on Discord:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

Making waves on Facebook:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Spotted on TikTok:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨