Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,853

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Spotted on Reddit:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Just shared via Facebook:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Just shared via Discord:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Making waves on Facebook:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Just shared via Telegram:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your neighbor's tree accidentally becomes the neighborhood's holiday beacon 🎄🌟😂

apartment, apartment window, Christmas, Christmas tree, decoration, display, face, gratitude, holiday, holiday humor, humor, people, public, public display, put, service, street, thank, thank you, tree, trees, window, Windows

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

0

1 month ago

age-related, age-related injury, aging, cause, humor, injury, men, old, old men, self-perception, still, thinking, young, youth
You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

0

1 month ago

anything, better, cancellation, ear, ear protection, earplugs, hear, hearing, humor, i, me, noise, noise cancellation, protection, sarcasm, simply, stubbornness, tell
If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

0

2 months ago

convenience, force, humor, i, ID, Jedi, just, laziness, open, pistachio, sci-fi, snack, Star Wars
People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

0

4 months ago

active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking
I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

0

1 month ago

cooking, crockpot, eat, horrible, humor, kitchen, love, new, wait
$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

0

2 months ago

account, bank, bank account, financial, humor, joke, k, money, sarcasm, silent, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

76 shares on X this month:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

81 shares on Messenger this month:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

63 shares on Threads this month:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Trending via Threads:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Just landed via Instagram:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Seen just now on Discord:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Going bananas on TikTok:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Making waves on WeChat:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Just shared via Discord:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Live now on X:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨