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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Making waves on TikTok:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Making waves on WeChat:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Live now on Pinterest:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they’ve got nothing to hide… except maybe streak marks on the windows! 😆🔍🏠

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Live, laugh, leftovers.

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2 months ago

food, humor, laugh, leftover, live
You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

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I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

0

2 months ago

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The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

0

2 months ago

always, best, fact, fairy, fairy tale, fiction, handsome, humor, intelligent, man, prince, proof, romance, single, tale
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

0

2 months ago

dying, fitness, health, health nut, hospital, humor, irony, lifestyle, lying, mortality, nothing, nut, sarcasm, someday, stupid
Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

0

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Telegram this month:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Just landed via Telegram:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Live now on Messenger:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Spotted on Snapchat:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Live, laugh, leftovers.

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨