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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

21 minutes ago

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Spotted on Telegram:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Trending via Twitch:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

5 months ago

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the Pharaohs were just trying to slide into the afterlife in style! 🌊😎 Who knew that crossing their hands was the ancient Egyptian version of getting ready for a day at the water park? 💦🎢 Just imagine, forever riding those infinite water slides… sounds like a pretty 'pharaohtastic' eternity! 😂"

after, afterlife, ancient, ancient Egypt, belief, burial, buried, chest, egypt, fun, hands, humor, life, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

21 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Shared recently on Threads:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Making waves on Reddit:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Trending via Telegram:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

Just landed via Discord:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Spotted on Slack:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Just landed via Facebook:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Just shared via Pinterest:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

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