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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,258

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Going viral on Snapchat:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Shared recently on X:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Trending via Telegram:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

2 months ago

0

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the Pharaohs were just trying to slide into the afterlife in style! 🌊😎 Who knew that crossing their hands was the ancient Egyptian version of getting ready for a day at the water park? 💦🎢 Just imagine, forever riding those infinite water slides… sounds like a pretty 'pharaohtastic' eternity! 😂"

after, afterlife, ancient, ancient Egypt, belief, burial, buried, chest, egypt, fun, hands, humor, life, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

0

2 months ago

applying, applying for job, babe, cry, crying, date, frustration, humor, i, Indeed, job, job search, jobs, me, over, relationship, search, start, watch
My soulmate is chocolate cake.

0

5 months ago

cake, chocolate, chocolate cake, dessert, food, food love, humor, love, soulmate
The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, complain, heaven, humor, ID, manager, reason, sarcasm, want
The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, discomfort, embarrassment, funny situation, humor, moment, situation, social, social situation, tell, zipper
Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

0

2 months ago

humor, imagine, irony, life, reflection, sigh, think
I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

0

2 months ago

fear, flip, flip flop, flop, flops, footwear, humor, i, ID, imagination, scared, spider, think, tiny

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

99 shares on Threads this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

64 shares on Threads this month:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Just shared via Messenger:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Just shared via YouTube:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Just landed via YouTube:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Live now on Twitch:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Making waves on Discord:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

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