Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,287

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Shared recently on Slack:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Spotted on Instagram:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Trending via Instagram:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Just landed via Slack:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Shared recently on Threads:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

2 days ago

Playful text suggesting pharaohs crossed their arms, joking about water slides in the afterlife.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the Pharaohs were just trying to slide into the afterlife in style! 🌊😎 Who knew that crossing their hands was the ancient Egyptian version of getting ready for a day at the water park? 💦🎢 Just imagine, forever riding those infinite water slides… sounds like a pretty 'pharaohtastic' eternity! 😂"

after, afterlife, ancient, ancient Egypt, belief, burial, buried, chest, egypt, fun, hands, humor, life, Pharaoh, slide, water, water slide

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

29 shares on WeChat this month:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

30 shares on YouTube this month:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Manifesting you in my bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Going viral on X:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Making waves on Discord:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Going viral on Slack:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Freshly posted on X:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴