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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Broadcasted on Threads:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Trending via Telegram:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Going viral on Slack:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Going viral on Slack:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Magic like that must come with a toilet wand and a splash of confidence 💩✨📸

appearance, diarrhea, good, humor, magical, people, photo, photogenic, photography, pic, picture, still

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

0

5 months ago

ago, being, change, crazy, humor, madness, meant, society, something, time
Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

0

3 weeks ago

achievement, ago, amount, brag, bragging, cooking, five, humor, i, measurement, memory, once, pasta, right, time
Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

0

2 months ago

America, comedy, fast, fast food, food, furious, humor, movie, wordplay
I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

0

2 months ago

else, everyday, everyday life, everyone, fashion, fit, hope, humor, i, life, pants, put, still, struggle
I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

0

2 months ago

chore, domestic, domestic humor, expression, face, floor, funny expression, funny face, glad, household, household chore, household mess, humor, i, just, laundry, machine, mess, nobody, sock, spot, washing, washing machine
If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

0

5 months ago

attitude, blame, evil, humor, man, me, meet, origin, personality, think, transformation, wait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Just shared via Threads:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Trending via Pinterest:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Spotted on Reddit:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Going viral on Slack:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Shared recently on Threads:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Trending via Snapchat:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Just shared via Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨