Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Making waves on Reddit:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Going viral on Twitch:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Making waves on Reddit:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

22 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Peel the chair like a banana when no one's watching! 🍌👀✨

chair, humor, i, invite, leather, leather chair, looking, me, over, peel, peeling, please, prank, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

0

2 months ago

accessory, carry, cute, cute purse, everyday, everyday carry, everywhere, fashion, girl, hoard, humor, i, item, love, need, never, objects, personal, personal item, purse, sad, say, tiny, tiny purse
Somebody needs to get my shit together.

0

2 months ago

humor, motivation, need, needs, procrastination, self-improvement, shit, somebody, together
Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoid idiot, book, books, coffee, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, idiot, idiots, lifestyle, productivity, read, read book, repeat, routine, self-care
Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

0

2 months ago

away, car, DeLorean, doppelganger, evil, fine, humor, joke, just, speed, sure, time, time travel, travel
If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

0

2 months ago

English, ever, humor, irony, just, language, lead, read, remember, rhyme, think, weird, wordplay
IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

0

2 months ago

activity, date, humor, IKEA, meltdown, place, public, public place, relationship, Swedish, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

41 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

61 shares on Threads this month:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

94 shares on Slack this month:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

What a time to be alive, it’s like the collapse of Rome, but with memes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Just landed via Messenger:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Live now on WhatsApp:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Making waves on X:

I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.

Making waves on Telegram:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Live now on Discord:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Live now on Instagram:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨