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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Windmill? Big fan.

Spotted on X:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Going viral on Discord:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Trending via Snapchat:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Funny text about feeling exhausted and wanting to sleep for days.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Monday morning motto! 😴💤 Who needs coffee when you can just hibernate like a bear for a few days? 🐻 Just make sure to set an alarm for 72 hours later! ⏰😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

64 shares on Threads this month:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

97 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

92 shares on Slack this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Going bananas on Threads:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Just landed via Threads:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Going viral on Discord:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Making waves on Reddit:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Trending via Threads:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

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