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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Trending via Messenger:

How is it still this week?

Making waves on Discord:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just landed via Pinterest:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Trending via WeChat:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Just landed via X:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like they're stuck in a never-ending episode of "Tech Soap Opera: The Paper Jam Chronicles" 😂🖨️💔💻

before, breakup, broke, communication, computer, computers, friend, friendship, humor, mutual, mutual friend, night, printer, printers, relationship, technology, treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anxious, day, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, irony, leisure, relaxation, scam, spend, stress, weekend
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

0

2 months ago

affleck, again, ben, Ben Affleck, broke, broke up, children, engaged, humor, Jennifer, Jennifer Lopez, life, lopez, love, love life, married, people, relationship, reunited, single, time, whole
No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

0

2 months ago

beauty, camera, emotion, heart, justice, landscape, melts
Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, i, life, math, own, personal, personal problems, problem, problems, sarcasm, solve, student, student life, want, witty
It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

0

2 months ago

aspirations, computer, cute, emails, grow, grow up, humor, kids, say, want
Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

0

2 months ago

always, distant, distant family member, family, growing, growing up, humor, i, identity, member

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Messenger this month:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

90 shares on X this month:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

34 shares on X this month:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Spreading quickly via X:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Making waves on Facebook:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Going bananas on Discord:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨