Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Trending via Slack:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Breaking via Threads:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Making waves on Facebook:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Spotted on Instagram:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Spotted on YouTube:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Broadcasted on X:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Thanks to my middle name, I'm officially "David Facebook Amazon Netflix Smith." Talk about an identity crisis! 😂📧🔍

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

3 months ago

humor, loud, music, nostalgia, parents, realization, right
Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

2 months ago

entertainment, forget, fun, girlfriend, humor, listening, minutes, priorities, relationship, spend, spent, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, time, time spent, wrapped, year
Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

2 months ago

broke, delivery, fashion, here, humor, online, online shopping, Shein, shopping, spending, sudden, swear, women
If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

2 months ago

doing, ever, humor, irony, just, last, lesson, life, life lesson, lol, mistakes, nice, opposite, parenting, problem, solve, think, time, try, universe, work
My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

2 months ago

4pm, battery, body, drained, energy, humor, phone, tired
Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

2 months ago

dating, expectations, falling, finding, humor, imagine, irony, love, me, relationship, slow, slow walker, walker

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

89 shares on X this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

60 shares on X this month:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Just landed via Facebook:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Trending via Instagram:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Shared recently on Threads:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨