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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Trending via Facebook:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Making waves on X:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Breaking via Twitch:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Going viral on WeChat:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

2 months ago

0

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎄🐱 It's time for the annual battle of Cat vs. Christmas Tree! Will the tree survive the day of feline antics, or will it be adorned with ornaments of mischief and mischief only? Stay tuned for the purr-fect drama! 😸 #CatmasTreeMayhem

activity, behavior, big, big day, cat, Christmas, Christmas tree, day, decoration, fun, fun activity, holiday, pet, pet behavior, today, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

0

2 months ago

cause, dating, doing, epidemic, humor, interaction, loneliness, male, male loneliness, proud, social, social interaction
It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

0

2 months ago

animal, fan, heatwave, hot, humor, i, just, nature, nut, nuts, saw, squirrel, summer
Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

0

2 months ago

car, comparison, Cybertruck, Deplorean, humor, joke, technology
Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

0

2 months ago

attraction, behavior, drive, health, humor, just, people, perception, relationships, sex, sex drive, smoking, social, social behavior, vaping
The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

0

2 months ago

affection, endearment, humor, i, nickname, relationship
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

2 weeks ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great day, and then, people.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Just landed via Discord:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Just shared via Twitch:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Trending via Pinterest:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Just shared via YouTube:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Spotted on YouTube:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

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