Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,343

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Making waves on Twitch:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Just landed via Threads:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Just landed via YouTube:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Just landed via Discord:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Just shared via Twitch:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your exit strategy involves their grand exit! 🚪💼😂

business, enough, go out of business, humor, i, job, leave, leaving, need, quitting, revenge, sarcasm, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

2 months ago

action, actions, average, daily, daily action, else, good, humor, self-deprecation, something, something else
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

3 months ago

cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever
Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

2 months ago

bodily, bodily functions, functions, funny observation, getting, humor, i, message, observation, past, reflection, stare, throw, throw up, time
I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

2 months ago

break, conversation, dating, five, guy, guys, heart, heartbreak, humor, i, love, me, relationship, seriously, seriousness, take, talk, wants
Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

2 months ago

actually, education, humor, imagine, life, management, procrastination, spent, student, student life, study, studying, time, time management
My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

2 months ago

ask, ever, experience, hallucination, humor, i, joke, kid, kids, me, odd, odd question, parenting, question, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Trending via Discord:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Just landed via X:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Making waves on YouTube:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Freshly posted on Discord:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Making waves on Instagram:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨