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Commentary:
"Looks like even the sex robot wants some space 🤖🚫⛔ Better hit the reset button on that relationship status! 😆 #RobotRomanceGoneWrong"

comedy, dating, humor, order, relationship, restraining, restraining order, robot, sex, sex robot, status, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

0

6 months ago

behavior, cult, humor, introvert, making, only, side eye, silence, sit, social, social behavior, suspicion
Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

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2 months ago

child, harmonica, humor, instructions, instrument, joke, kid, missing, misunderstanding, musical, musical instrument, parenting, work
Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

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2 months ago

bright, communication, faster, hear, humor, intelligence, irony, light, people, perception, sound, talk, wit
Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

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2 months ago

art, humor, laziness, procrastination, relaxation, rest, tired
So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

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2 months ago

annoying, connection, humor, i, life, meet, meeting, need, new, new people, order, past, past life, people, socializing
That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

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2 months ago

body, body positivity, bonus, content, fat, humor, positivity, self-love

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Discord this month:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

23 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Being weird never goes out of style.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

59 shares on Slack this month:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Breaking via Discord:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wonder how much time The Weeknd saves not typing that extra e.

Making waves on Slack:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Live now on Pinterest:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Just shared via Discord:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨