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Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Live now on Slack:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the golden age of texting when "are you a robot?" wasn't the first date question 😂🤖📱

bot, communication, days, good, humor, memory, message, messaging, nostalgia, old, person, remember, technology, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

1 month ago
applause, behavior, comedy, crowd, entertainment, humor, irony, ovation, people, public, public behavior, sarcastic, situation, social, social situation, standing, standing ovation, start
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

1 month ago
after, aspiration, day, fame, health, hospital, humor, irony, maybe, me, mental, mental health, recognition, school, self-deprecation, street
Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

1 month ago
body, body grooming, bush, fashion, grooming, humor, loss, pants, pants size, shave, shaved, size, weight, weight loss
I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

2 months ago
body, body image, easy, easy to see, fat, humor, image, just, perception, self-deprecation
God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

1 month ago
comedy, God, humor, least, longing, love, me, millionaire, please, prayer, sarcasm, someone, want, wealth, wish
I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

1 month ago
baggage, dead, disappointment, emotional, emotional baggage, going, humor, humor quote, i, inside, left, sadness, suitcase, told, travel, vacation, wordplay, year

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Going viral on Threads:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Making waves on X:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Seen just now on X:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Trending via Threads:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

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Activity Log ✨

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

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Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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