Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.