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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Making art is making love to the world.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Just landed via Telegram:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Making waves on Instagram:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Live now on WeChat:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Spotted on Slack:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about Scooby-Doo inspiring silly fear-fighting advice.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll start practicing my on-the-spot treadmill skills for ghost season! 👻🏃‍♂️😂

believe, cartoon, childhood, ever, fear, humor, i, imagination, led, me, movement, place, quick, quick movement, run, running, scare, scared, Scooby Doo, should

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Had a shower and put on clean pajamas. It was a productive day.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

80 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Spotted on Messenger:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Making waves on Slack:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Going viral on Reddit:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Trending via WhatsApp:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Spotted on Facebook:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Just landed via Facebook:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨