Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

13 shares on Threads this month:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”